Ook Ook 🦍

On 2 April 2019 I flew to the Brit's city. I met up with a European friend who would keep me on an even keel. His one rule: "Don't hit him."

I rang the Brit's doorbell but got no answer. A couple minutes later I rang again, still no answer. I knocked loudly. A minute later a short middle aged man in a suit and tie answered the door. I asked for the Brit. The man asked who I was. I told him my name. He looked at me quizically then suddenly looked surprised. I greeted him by his name. He was the Boot Pup. The Brit had advoided ever showing us photos of each other claiming privacy.

The Brit was in the upstairs bath and Boot Pup escorted me up. Boot Pup said he'd be leaving but would phone later. The Brit rinsed off, pulled on some clothes, and escorted me to the living room. It was late afternoon, still light out, the Brit didn't turn on the lamps.

The Brit asked why I was there, I told him I wanted to see if it was possible for us to have a simple cup of tea and remain civil. The Brit said we could give it a try. I made us tea.

We exchanged vapid pleasantries... Renovation progress, work situations, friends. I told him I would really like to know why he choose to end us and walk away. He stopped talking and gazed at the floor. The sun continued towards setting.

I told him I never understood why people think as soon as they leave a relationship the person they loved and planned a life with suddenly ceased to exist. I said it's a bad trope from TV shows and movies, not a way to treat people in the real world.

He continued to stare silently at the floor as the sun sank lower and the room got darker.

I told him I was disappointed that he offered to apologize then a week later refused.

The Brit looked forward, not at me, and said to the darkness, "I apologize if my behavior appeared inconsiderate--"

A not-an-apology. I came unglued. "INCONSIDERATE?!?! YOU WERE CRUEL!" I laced into him about his 'do as I say, not as I do' expectations, his refusal to work together to resolve our conflicts, his condescension, his bragging about his passive-aggressiveness, how children learn what they live and his abusive home trained him to be a bully and an abuser, how infuriating it was that he transferred his rage at his mother to me, and how by not paying attention to unintended consequences he threw all kinds of gaslighting tricks at me-- especially reality shifting by blame-reversing his apologies and abrupt swings from kind to vicious-- whether he planned to or not.

He sat in the dark and stared at the floor the whole while. I brought our tea mugs to the kitchen, put on my jacket, and headed to the door. I said, "Goodbye, Brit."

He stood too close so he'd tower over me and said, "You stopped believing in me."

I said "Yes, I did, when you walked away from me and started packing your bags without saying a word to me." I walked out and closed the door behind me.