Ook Ook 🦍

Correspondence between two men who fell in love then fell apart

September 2018

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Subject: Getting to know the me who feeds street cats
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 01 Sep 2018 11:18:41 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

In time we will get to know each other well. You will learn more about the me who feeds street cats, gives a buck to panhandlers, compliments strangers, collects nick-nacks, and hand-makes Valentine cards for my lover.

Problem is, as you get to know those parts of me you will also see the parts of me that occasionally frighten you or appear as "red flags".

Right now that scares the piss out of me.

Freaks like us are a mix of innocence, wisdom beyond our years, and battle scars. They can't be separated. But they can be understood in the broader context.

When I am with you in person or by telecom, I feel loved. Safe. Protected. Understood. Accepted. Respected. Nurtured. Desired.

I don't want to jeopardize any of that. Ever.

Please trust me that over time you will see me more deeply. You will understand why I give a damn about street cats. Why I buy food for homeless people. And also why I sometimes become infuriated. What my "Anger is an Energy" tattoo means. It's all connected.

I just want you to know my broader context first so I don't scare you off.

--Yank
Subject: Re: Getting to know the me who feeds street cats
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 1 Sep 2018 19:29:17 +0100
To: YANK

I have plenty of red flags too. I can be insecure, passive aggressive, lazy. All things I'm working on.

Knowing the reality and still wanting the other person is a true strength in things.

Stuff takes time to share and show, I understand.
Subject: Re: Getting to know the me who feeds street cats
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 01 Sep 2018 11:43:44 -0700
To: BRIT

I love you, my friend.

--Yank
Subject: Basic black leather jeans
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 01 Sep 2018 11:52:20 -0700
To: BRIT

Poppa,

If you're not sure leather is your domain, stick to basics.

Get yourself a pair of slightly snug plain black leather jeans. Pigskin leather is usually less expensive than cow leather and is pretty much indistinguishable.

You can wear them with your black CAT boots and add detail with whatever belts catch your eye.

I'll bring both my black leather waistcoats, the larger one will fit you nicely. I'll also bring some gloves, armbands, belts, wristbands, etc.

A bandanna for you to flag hypnosis should arrive in about a week.

Together these garments will suffice while you explore whether leather resonates with you.

ook ook, YOUR BIG LUG
Subject: Re: Basic black leather jeans
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 1 Sep 2018 21:27:17 +0100
To: YANK

Thank you x
Subject: Stretchy brief and musclebear necklace are on their way!
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 01 Sep 2018 13:51:17 -0700
To: BRIT

https://tools.usps.com/go/TrackConfirmAction?qtc_tLabels1=[Redacted]

Poppa,

I sent your stretchy brief and musclebear necklace. They're in a padded envelope that will fit through your mail slot.

The URL above uses the parcel's customs declaration number for tracking.

I expect either photos or video chat with you wearing nothing but the brief and necklace.

ook ook,

YOUR BIG LUG
Subject: Couldn't have done it without you
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 01 Sep 2018 15:43:35 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

You did more than you know to help me take BIG BLACK. My mind is still reeling so I'm having trouble with words.

Your intimacy skills are far superior to any man I've ever been with. You treat me so well and use your power so expertly. You have the sexual energy I've only ever fantasized about and you bring it to me of all people. You make it safe for me to drop all my defenses, shed all my rules, challenge all my boundaries.

I want to satisfy you sexually as deeply as you satisfy me. You motivate me to be as good a lover as you are.

OK, pretty sappy. Maybe that's the endorphins talking. I don't care. Hitting the [SEND] button.

ook ook,

YOUR BIG LUG

P.S. - Take *that*, causality!
Subject: Sonny Inan
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 01 Sep 2018 16:02:58 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Once I had sunk BIG BLACK, this is the guy I jacked off to. Sonny Inan is a Dominican bodybuilder from my "My Type" folder. I fantasize about Sonny being my affectionate muscle son.

ook ook.




Subject: [Fwd: Nice photos]
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 02 Sep 2018 08:41:39 -0700
To: BRIT

I think the loincloths they're wearing would be a goos look for you.

--Yank

-------- Original Message -------- Subject: Nice photos
Date: Sun, 2 Sep 2018 17:36:50 +0200
From: Bear
To: YANK

A news story that is not about politics, social media or Elon Musk!

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/09/02/641358697/photos-its-wrestle-mania-on- the-beaches-of-senegal

Well-built guys.
Subject: Stretchy gear
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 02 Sep 2018 09:42:39 -0700
To: BRIT

Poppa,

Prevail Sport is having a big sale. If you see anything you want to see on me, let me know. Especially if it's not my typical style but YOU would like to see me in it.

http://www.prevailsport.com/

ook ook,

YOUR BIG LUG
Subject: Practicing my new skill
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 02 Sep 2018 10:58:09 -0700
To: BRIT

Poppa,

I'd like to keep practicing with the DETONATOR and BIG BLACK so I can be certain I'm ready for you when I come to [Redacted]. Noob question: How frequently would it be safe and effective to practice? Once or twice a week?

Also I'd like to practice on video chat with you sometimes. I want to associate that kind of pleasure with you.

I never would have imagined something like this. Who knew.

ook ook,

YOUR BIG LUG
Subject: Re: Stretchy gear
From: BRIT
Date: Sun, 2 Sep 2018 22:16:32 +0100
To: YANK

Nothing particularly caught my eye apart from a mesh top, oddly. I am guessing you have a few muscle tank tops already ;)
Subject: Re: Practicing my new skill
From: BRIT
Date: Sun, 2 Sep 2018 22:18:59 +0100
To: YANK

I don't really know to be honest, but I'd suggest you give it a longer break before getting into it regularly. Your body is still unused to it and it's better to go too slow than too fast, as ever.
Subject: Re: Practicing my new skill
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 02 Sep 2018 14:42:15 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Probably wise to do as you say. It's almost impossible to get accurate and practical information from gays, they talk as if they park a Citroen in there every night.

I think weekly is probably safe. And approached slowly even then.

--BIG LUG
Subject: Re: Stretchy gear
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 02 Sep 2018 14:43:33 -0700
To: BRIT

I have a couple of white fisherman's net tops I think you'll like. From real Norwegian fishermen.

--Yank
[09/03/2018]

BRIT: I've been pondering how the whole of this would ho. I'd have to explain to many people getting married to see if it works etc. It certainly wouldn't happen for a normal person.

YANK: I simultaneously understand and do not understand.

BRIT: I missed the quotes, sorry.

YANK: I haven't had to account to anyone for decades.

BRIT: Yes.

YANK: I can only trust your judgement.

BRIT: I'm more tied up by society than you.
Or family. Or whatever.
Or I think I am.

YANK: But you seems to actually be considering marriage. Like, genuinely weighing the positibe and negative concerns.

BRIT: It's a way forward, assuming all goes well.Looking at just getting you here it's the best thing to do. It's just all the rest.

YANK: I don't mean this flippantly: So what?
So what if we let hope motivate us?
So what if we shove our fears to the curb?
So what if we do something inscrutable in the eyes of family and friends?
So what if we just out of the airplane and trust our chutes to open?
So what? Would we be so different from millions of other humans?
Why can't WE be punch drunk in love? Why can't WE believe misfit freaks like us can be happy?
Why can't WE be just as daring as normal people?
So what?
jumt out --> jump out
Why can't WE take another chance after our horrible relationship failures?
Why not US? Why should WE be denied?
Wny can't WE pick ourselves up and keep going?
TAKE THE BUS.
Fuck the sinkhole.

BRIT: I suspect I'm old and bitter now

YANK: That's MY line, you little snot-nose rugrat!
Subject: It was never my intent for the idea of marriage to become a problem for you
From: YANK
Date: Mon, 03 Sep 2018 16:34:02 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

I've reviewed the transcript of today's Skype blather. I've read it a few times, actually.

Please know that I did not suggest marriage as a fix for visa concerns even though it does indeed fix them. I suggested it as an effective way we could be together. Not to explore our potential, not to get to know each other and see if it works, not to "test drive" marriage.

To be with you.

Period.

I did not hesitate because I was never afraid of what would, could, or wouldn't happen. All irrelevant. I already knew I had to be with you.

Of all the possible futures I foresee (and there are more than you can imagine), being with you is the best. It is the one I want. I have never wanted anything as fiercely as I want to share my life with you.

This is my 5th revision of this next part. All the prior edits were pretty much chest pounding and cock punching and shouting in uppercase about fighting for you and being your warrior and all the men before me were weak and they lost and I won and ook ook ook ook ook. I wish that worked with you. It's my strongest card.

If only you would stop keeping me at arm's length, afraid of me, afraid of someone loving you. If only you would stop being so fucking proper, worrying about what to tell friends and family. Why would you ever surrender your power to them? Who the fuck does that benefit?

Tell them we met 3 years ago. Tell them I am a warrior and a madman. Tell them we fell in love. Tell them we're getting married when you go to [Redacted] for the winter holidays. Tell them to expect an invitation to cigars and wedding cake after the marriage. Tell them we will live in your home in [Redacted] with 3 cats.

In other words, tell them the truth.

"But it was my integrity that was important. Is that so selfish? It sells for so little, but it's all we have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free." (Alan Moore, V for Vendetta)

--Yank
Subject: Poppa and GRUNTOR
From: YANK
Date: Mon, 03 Sep 2018 17:02:10 -0700
To: BRIT

Poppa and GRUNTOR. This is what happens when two hungry cocksuckers battle for first feeding.

ook ook.


Subject: Re: Poppa and GRUNTOR
From: BRIT
Date: Tue, 4 Sep 2018 05:51:58 +0100
To: YANK

Sorry, comic geek. Looooove Joe Kubert's art!
Subject: Causality hot spots
From: YANK
Date: Tue, 4 Sep 2018 13:33:49 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Please mark these dates on your calendar.

10/08/2018
01/03/2019
02/28/2019
03/21/2019
06/19/2019
08/29/2019

We have already established that I am crazy so just do this for me please,

ook ook,

YOUR BIG LUG
Subject: Re: Causality hot spots
From: BRIT
Date: Tue, 4 Sep 2018 21:43:46 +0100
To: YANK

Those dates are not ISO standard.
Subject: Re: Causality hot spots
From: YANK
Date: Tue, 4 Sep 2018 13:50:32 -0700
To: BRIT

20181008
20190103
20190228
20190321
20190619
20190829

Be glad I didn't send them as offsets relative to 01/01/1901.

ook ook.
Subject: Re: Causality hot spots
From: BRIT
Date: Tue, 4 Sep 2018 21:54:20 +0100
To: YANK

Silly, time started Jan 1st 1970. I don't really know how you got by before. If you can have a before without time.
Subject: Re: Causality hot spots
From: YANK
Date: Tue, 4 Sep 2018 14:01:24 -0700
To: BRIT

Time is a gift, precious and rare, made to give you the time you need to have the time of your life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJaNDQ-jkxs
Subject: The poets, the dreamers, and me
From: YANK
Date: Wed, 5 Sep 2018 13:07:59 -0700
To: BRIT

'Millions of books written on every conceivable subject by all these great minds and in the end, none of them knows anything more about the big questions of life than I do. I read Socrates. This guy knocked off little Greek boys. What the Hell's he got to teach me? And Nietzsche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're gonna live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again. It's not worth it. And Freud, another great pessimist. I was in analysis for years and nothing happened. My poor analyst got so frustrated, the guy finally put in a salad bar. Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.' --Woody Allen
Subject: Overnight our proxy server has blocked web Skype
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 6 Sep 2018 08:41:36 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Last night's update of our corporate proxy/firewall has blocked web Skype. I hope I'm personally responsible.

I'll catch up on any messages you may have sent once I get home.

I'd like to talk face-to-face please. Please let me know when that would be possible. Your morning works well but I'd rather not turn your mornings into a time to dread what's been percolating in my mind all day.

Hugs,

Yank
Subject: Re: Overnight our proxy server has blocked web Skype
From: BRIT
Date: Thu, 6 Sep 2018 16:54:40 +0100
To: YANK

Tomorrow should be fine to speak.
Subject: Re: Overnight our proxy server has blocked web Skype
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 6 Sep 2018 08:56:21 -0700
To: BRIT

Is there a good time (your time zone please)?

ook ook.
Subject: [Fwd: Theft of Customer Data]
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 06 Sep 2018 19:52:58 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

I've lost track of how many companies I do business with that have lost customer data. I have a staggering number of free credit monitoring accounts.

I hate the 21st century.

--Yank

-------- Original Message -------- Subject: Theft of Customer Data
Date: Thu, 06 Sep 2018 20:31:26 -0400
From: British Airways


If you are unable to see the message below, click here to view. British Airways

Dear Customer,

From 22:58 BST 21 August 2018 until 21:45 BST 5 September 2018 inclusive, the personal and financial details of customers making or changing bookings at ba.com, and on our app were compromised. The stolen data did not include travel or passport information.

The breach has been resolved and our website is working normally.

We're deeply sorry, but you may have been affected. We recommend that you contact your bank or credit card provider and follow their recommended advice.

We take the protection of your personal information very seriously. Please accept our deepest apologies for the worry and inconvenience that this criminal activity has caused.

Further information can be found at ba.com.

Yours sincerely,

Alex Cruz Chief Executive Officer
Subject: Your package is being held for customs fees
From: YANK
Date: Fri, 07 Sep 2018 06:18:18 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Looks like your stretchy brief and musclebear necklace are being held for payment of customs fees. I've never had that happen for a gift before.

Tracking PDF attached.

--Yank

[PDF redacted]
Subject: This would be a good look for you
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 08 Sep 2018 08:57:55 -0700
To: BRIT

From http://ordersinbulk.tumblr.com

ook ook.


Subject: In case it didn't make it form my cell phone to you
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 08 Sep 2018 18:20:48 -0700
To: BRIT

Poppa,

I bought 24 pounds of mass gainer today. Getting HUGE for you.

ook ook,

GRUNTOR GROWING GORILLA

[Attachment redacted]

Subject: Taiko drumming
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 08 Sep 2018 20:03:38 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Korabo Taiko drumming school is still in business a couple blocks from me. Their manager Gene phoned me tonight. They have a class time Sundays from 12:30 PM to 2:30 PM and Wednesdays 7 PM to 9 PM.

I doubt I can wear a fundoshi but I'm going tomorrow to see what they're about.

Now I can be a gorilla pounding a big ceremonial drum!

ook ook.
Subject: Re: Taiko drumming
From: BRIT
Date: Sun, 9 Sep 2018 07:51:02 +0100
To: YANK

That sounds really good for you to do :)
Subject: Re: In case it didn't make it form my cell phone to you
From: BRIT
Date: Sun, 9 Sep 2018 07:51:39 +0100
To: YANK

I did get it! Didn't know if replying was a good idea. Who took the picture?
Subject: Re: Causality hot spots
From: BRIT
Date: Sun, 09 Sep 2018 12:07:55 +0100
To: YANK

Dates entered. Are you going to let me know what each is? A few are obvious, not all.
Subject: Re: Causality hot spots
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 09 Sep 2018 07:33:25 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

In order:

I depart [Redacted]
You depart [Redacted]
Last day of my [Redacted] lease
Day after my 58th birthday
90 days after my 58th birthday
Visitor visa to UK expires if I came to you after my lease expires

--Yank
Subject: Re: In case it didn't make it form my cell phone to you
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 09 Sep 2018 07:36:16 -0700
To: BRIT

The young woman who works at the Vitamin Shoppe took the photo. Rather good considering her age group isn't used to physical buttons on a phone.

--Yank
Subject: Re: In case it didn't make it form my cell phone to you
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 09 Sep 2018 08:40:11 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

If you reply to the picture message my little phone can't parse the resulting message. But you can use the email address [Redacted] to send me a new message.

--Yank
Subject: Turns out you CAN reply to my pictur messages from email
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 09 Sep 2018 17:43:05 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

It turns out that when I send a picture message or text message from my phone to your email, you CAN reply to it. It ends up chunking your reply and the original message it started with, but your reply does get there, albeit maybe 15 minutes late.

--Yank
Subject: Dog toy or marital aide?
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 09 Sep 2018 19:25:57 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Protein drink shakers cost $10 to $15 at the nutrition stores. Clearly they are smoking crack.

I bought a 1 quart flip-cap jug at the dollar store and a dog chew toy as an agitator. Mass gainer mixing perfection!

There used to be a web site for "Dog Toy Or Marital Aid" but it has been lost in the sands of internet time. It was hilarious.

ook ook,

SEXY GROWING GORILLA


Subject: How do I frighten you?
From: YANK
Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2018 15:12:15 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

I'm the near future would you please tell me how I frighten you? You have occasionally said that I sometimes scare or frighten you. What, exactly? My intensity? World view? Anger? Mental health? Enormous penis?

Hugs,

Papi Blanco
Subject: Fwd: Heartwarming olde photographe
From: YANK
Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2018 15:15:09 -0700
To: BRIT

I just love this.

--Yank


During a video chat the Brit told me he wanted me to tell him any bad acts and misdeeds I had committed. I told him that was a wide open question, without any hint of what level of naughtiness he was concerned about.

He offered to go first and told me he used to use poppers.

I told him it would be unusual if a gay man hadn't ever used poppers.

The Brit was angry at my response and told me he had the right to know what kind of man he was partnering with. I told him he could learn that from looking at how I live my life now.

Poppers was the only misdeed the Brit volunteered.

[09/12/2018 10:02 PM]

BRIT: Gorilla

Well we didn't have a video chat.

All my life I've had to deal with a possessive notion of what love is. Both of my parents see loving in that way. My dad had custody of us kids at the weekend and wouldn't let me spend time with my friends because it was his time. My mum wouldn't let me stay out late with friends so for years I would be home for dinner (school ends 3.30 - 4) here leaving little time to socialise. They got what they wanted, I grew up socially stunted from not being around other people.

Pete was always happy as long as be got his own way. If we sat in and he smoked dope all weekend then he was fine. If I ever disagreed with him then he'd railroad over me. If I stuck to my guns then he'd row and sulk.

Eryl told me whatever I wanted to hear, showed me whatever I wanted to see. All changed once we moved in and he froze up sexually and would not talk about it.

Even Joe who treated me best, talked about anal sex early on and hinted at trying it then once we were going out avoided it for a year until I brought it to a head.

You have felt free to have a go at me. When the thing about fucking came up, you just said you would try it for me, in the context of us talking about an open relationship. You hated my response to the extent that you wanted at me about how I didn't appreciate what you were doing. All that stuff you were going on about me not getting you wanted to share intimacy, about shooting down you trying to learn for me? You never communicated that but ranted as if it were fair to expect me to know it without you saying.

You were upset when I talked about my exposure and you brought up prenuptial agreements. You were upset that I would question your character at all.

And here you are saying you want to take away my choice in who I live with and marry. That I don't get to know who it is and get to make my own decisions on your who it is you are.

People are going to question me if I do this. They will be concerned for me, because they care. They will say "how much do you know him?"

And I get to say now "he doesn't tell me the stuff he thinks I wouldn't like".

You keep saying you're balls out. But here's where you would actually be exposed. Here is what you're afraid of. Here's where there is risk to is being together.

I told you about poppers knowing you hate them. Knowing you would probably never know I took them. Knowing I could just leave them and if someone ever did say I used to have them I'd say "ages ago, I don't now".

I took that risk that you would walk away because I felt you should know who it was you wanted to be involved with.

I'm feeling now that you are putting your desire for us to be together over being true with me. That this is moving more towards the possessive notion of what love is. I'm upset. All my life, people have chosen to disregard my feelings, take away my choices. And it feels like this is happening again.

You keep mentioning the 7 guys right for you.

Do I get to ask if you're right for me?

Or do you make that choice for me?

YANK: Yes, Brit. You get to decide if I'm right for you.

And you are right. Iam afraid. I'm afraid of the ways I have been and the things I have been done getting weighed as equal to the man I am now and how I conduct my life now. It's very hard to foresee how people evaluate the fullness of another person's life when deciding how they feel about that person now.

How would you like to proceed? I could give you a laundry list of atrocities. You could tell me what crimes you feel exceed your tolerence and I can tell you which I'm guilty of.

I already new I was not right for you, Brit. You've articulated your experiences with a posessive notion of love and now that I know I think I'd be even less right for you. But only you can decide that. Maybe you want a misfit like me. Maybe people like us should stay single. I honestly don't know.

The Brit wanted a laundery list of my atrocities.

I told him I ink jet printed a $20 bill and spent it at a dark bar. I told him I counterfieted veterinary prescriptions for antibiotics to use myself after cat bites got infected. I told him I once dressed as a doctor-- white coat, stethescope, mask, gloves, surgeon's cap-- to sneak into the ICU to visit a deathly ill friend. I told him when I was supposed to bring my work computer to the recycling truck I brought a broken computer instead and took my computer home. I told him when I was poor and broke I shoplifted food from the supermarket.

He approved of my confessions.

That was when I truly understood the meaning of the word "sanctimonious."

Subject: Re: Heartwarming olde photographe
From: BRIT
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2018 05:41:51 +0100
To: YANK

So mean :D
Subject: Re: How do I frighten you?
From: BRIT
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2018 05:54:37 +0100
To: YANK

The anger can. Our meeting at NEEHU was the start of me realising how my parents anger had left a terrified little boy inside me who shuts down through fear. Realising that was good. All people get angry. I need to learn to not become that scared child when they do. My issue.

The intensity and transgression ... frightens would be the wrong word. It challenges me. I'm new to kink for example. When I look at why I want a hotel, one reason is not wanting to leave my house in leathers ... when renting I didn't mind so much but I'm feeling more concerned here. I think you would make me uncomfortable by pushing those boundaries. That would be good for me. I do worry for you - when we have had these issues, you sleep badly and it affects your day.

The mental health does not scare me. You seem to have a good handle on it generally, likely better than mine.

Our world views are largely compatible. You're less forgiving and more absolutist than I. I need to stand up to you more - a few times you have said things I just let slide as it seemed easier to not rock the boat. I'm going to say more. Not expecting you to change, just to let my feelings be known, and to challenge you if that seems appropriate.

I love your penis. I love how it hangs so big. I love how it fits my throat. I love how it pumps up. And I love how you love that I love it.
Subject: Pics today
From: BRIT
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2018 21:14:43 +0100
To: YANK

[Attachment redacted]

Subject: Re: Pics today
From: BRIT
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2018 21:16:33 +0100
To: YANK

[Attachment redacted]

Subject: Re: Pics today
From: BRIT
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2018 21:17:00 +0100
To: YANK

[Attachment redacted]

Subject: Re: Pics today
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2018 15:29:36 -0700
To: BRIT

Thank you, my handsome man. Those all are going into my "spank bank".

ook ook.
Subject: Looking into divorce for a US/UK couple
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2018 15:44:50 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

I've been checking law references online to be sure I understand the ramifications of a US citizen and a UK citizen getting divorced.

First, the presumptions:

I would remain a US citizen with a "indefinite leave to remain" visa in the UK. We would have a prenuptial agreement that we each keep what we came to the marriage with. I would not acquire any significant property such as a house or valuable car. We would marry in the US and if divorced I would return to the US. We won't have any children. We would not seek spousal financial support ("alimony").

In that scenario, we would divorce in the US then in the UK since we wouldn't be fully married in the eyes of UK law, rather, our US marriage would be recognized. If uncontested it would not require a lawyer.

I'll see if I can find an international divorce lawyer to confirm all this. [Redacted] has many, it's the marriage capital of the USA. Really.

And I still want you to tell me how you feel about marriage in general and how it colors your feelings about us marrying.

--Yank

The state I lived in was an ideal place to get married and, if necessary, divorced. The state respected prenup agreements even though they were largely unnecessary. After marriage each party continued to own everything they owned before mariage. The state recognizes "no fault" divorces. And if The Brit and I lived in the UK, to get divorced I'd need to fly back to the state and live there a mere 6 weeks before filing for divorce. I told all this to the Brit.

The UK, on the other hand, does not respect prenups and courts work very hard to reject divorces because they damage the traditional family. Nonetheless the Brit and a lawyer friend he talked to felt a UK mariage was best way to go.

I doubt the British will ever outgrow their superiority complex.

Subject: BBBelly - My favorite Deviant Art site
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2018 18:22:05 -0700
To: BRIT

https://www.deviantart.com/bbbelly

Muscle morphs that suit my desire for hyper-roided beasts, extreme roid guts, and forced feedings.

ook ook.


Subject: The Wrong Trousers
From: YANK
Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2018 09:28:11 -0700
To: BRIT

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/these-robotic-pants-could-help-some-disabled-peo ple-walk-again-180970289/

These Robotic Trousers Could Help Some Disabled People Walk Again - 'The Right Trousers' combine soft artificial muscles and electric stimulation to get people moving

Subject: Bodybuilder wedding
From: YANK
Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2018 10:22:40 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

A Google search on "[Redacted] bodybuilder wedding" turned up some amusing rersults.

Here are our groomsmen:


ook ook,

YOUR BIG GORILLA
Subject: Themed weddings in [Redacted]
From: YANK
Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2018 10:30:59 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Now we're getting somewhere! This is just one of many venues that offer an assortment of batshit crazy themed weddings.

https://www.vivalas[Redacted]weddings.com/las-[Redacted]-wedding-packages/themed-weddings

ook ook.
Subject: Smoking in [Redacted] gay pubs?
From: YANK
Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2018 15:18:08 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

I read about the "pub smoking ban" in the UK. Some of what I read said smoking in pubs was only banned if the pub served food. Other articles made it seems like smoking was banned everywhere.

Would I be able to smoke a cigar at the gay pubs we'd visit during Leather Weekend? If I can smoke, I'll bring some massive phallic cigars. Otherwise I'll just bring a few smaller ones to smoke in your garden.

ook ook,

YOUR MEAT
Subject: Re: Smoking in [Redacted] gay pubs?
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 04:50:17 +0100
To: YANK

I'm pretty sure you can only smoke outside now. People do - at that leather social a load of guys went off to do so together.
Subject: Re: Smoking in [Redacted] gay pubs?
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 08:22:29 -0700
To: BRIT

In that case I'll bring some smaller cigars for relaxing in your garden. No MONSTER smokes to intimidate at [Redacted] Leather.

ook ook.
Subject: Re: Smoking in [Redacted] gay pubs?
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 16:23:33 +0100
To: YANK

It might be an opportunity to meet and bond with leather guys at the event, if you did have some.
Subject: Re: Smoking in [Redacted] gay pubs?
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 08:26:09 -0700
To: BRIT

Good point. And you may like the look of me smoking a cigar bigger than my cock.

I'll bring a couple monsters.

--Yank
Subject: 33
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 09:02:29 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

My black leather jeans have a 36" waist and 33" inseam. They should fit you well when you wear boots.

ook ook.
Subject: Re: 33
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 17:07:14 +0100
To: YANK

Thank you!

I think a waistcoat and boots might not be seen as enough to go to such a event though.

I liked the cuffs you mentioned.
Subject: Re: 33
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 09:16:48 -0700
To: BRIT

I have 2 of these cuffs. Macho.

They cover my tattoos so I don't wear them. Consider them yours.

ook ook.


Subject: Re: 33
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 17:17:36 +0100
To: YANK

Thank you!
Subject: Re: 33
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 09:21:38 -0700
To: BRIT

As your MEAT is is my duty to dress you for leather activities.

I ordered the lock for my collar chain, it's an alphabetic combination lock. I'm sure you already know the combination I will set it to use.

--MEAT
Subject: Re: 33
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 17:44:33 +0100
To: YANK

How many letters?
Subject: Re: 33
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 09:48:00 -0700
To: BRIT

I'm saddened that you even asked.

4
Subject: Re: 33
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 17:48:30 +0100
To: YANK

It might have been a different number!
Subject: Re: 33
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 09:51:16 -0700
To: BRIT

But the clues were obvious enough to tell you both how many letters and the word.

Re-read the email in which I told you about the combination lock.
Subject: Re: 33
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 17:51:52 +0100
To: YANK

I was pretty sure but wanted to check :p
Subject: Re: 33
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 10:02:08 -0700
To: BRIT

I wanted to be sure it was a combination you would remember for quick release in unexpected situations.

--MEAT
Subject: Anxiety... Can we video chat briefly?
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 15 Sep 2018 10:16:01 -0700
To: BRIT

Anxiety... Can we video chat briefly?

--Yank
Subject: Salisbury WTF?
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2018 20:30:59 -0700
To: BRIT

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-45541249

Police seal off Salisbury restaurant over 'medical incident'

BBC south of England correspondent Duncan Kennedy said that Public Health England is aware of the incident but "there's no suggestion that this is connected to the Novichok incident back in March".
Subject: Getting to the root of my anxiety
From: YANK
Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2018 10:38:49 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

I'm pretty sure my recent bouts of anxiety stem from my not currently being in a stable, well-defined circumstance.

I'm only in [Redacted] now to save money for my next move. Not stable. Not purposeful.

My job is temp-to-hire. Not stable. Not secure.

I do not have significant friends in [Redacted]. No people to help me feel connected, present, and purposeful.

I'm used to gyms where the other members and I know each other pretty well... How we train, when we're there, what our goals are, who's good to spot you. My gym here is soulless and corporate. The children do not play well with others. It's more like a drop-in center than a gym. Not connected, not purposeful.

You and I are doing well getting to know and understand each other. You have also needed me to shift my thinking from the shamelessly optimistic to more realistic. That has helped us find valuable common ground. But it also has me thinking in detail about leaving my country and all that is familiar. Although the thought is exhilarating it will take time to build stability and purpose. Being with you in the flesh for Leather Weekend will help make it real and less frightening.

Given so much that's ill-defined and temporary around me, no wonder I feel like I have no footing.

I feel safer and more comfortable when I think through the logistics and emotions of moving to Albuquerque and opening a personal training gym there, spending my days as an exhibitionist muscle Daddy personal trainer. I'm hoping that once I get a taste of [Redacted] and your home there I'll start thinking and feeling about life in [Redacted] with you the same as I do about life in Albuquerque.

Meanwhile I need to find ways to feel more purposeful for the time being here in [Redacted]. And perhaps get some counseling.

This is my favorite personal trainer in Albuquerque, Korbie Ntiforo. His brother Jojo is an IFBB pro. The photos do not do Korbie justice, he's almost always offseason and IMMENSE. He has a training gym in his home and offers, shall we say, VERY personal training.

http://www.traininginnovations.net/korbie/

ook ook,

YOUR BIG LUG
Subject: Commercial space to let for my training gym
From: YANK
Date: Tue, 18 Sep 2018 16:23:45 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/commercial-property-to-let/map.html?locationIdentifier=REGION %5E79192&maxPrice=1000&numberOfPropertiesPerPage=499&radius=5.0&propertyTypes=lig ht-industrial%2Cwarehouse&viewType=MAP&areaSizeUnit=sqft&priceType=pcm&viewport=- 2.84468%2C-1.79892%2C53.3409%2C53.6839

RightMove has been very useful to see what apartments and commercial spaces are available in your area. Stretford has some affordable spaces for a personal training gym.

ook ook,

MEAT
Subject: Where I would put my gym in Aalbuquerque
From: YANK
Date: Tue, 18 Sep 2018 16:32:28 -0700
To: BRIT

https://albuquerque.craigslist.org/off/d/sf-warehouses-space-available/6661125818.html

Brit,

I know this small mixed-use park well. Affordable, well maintained, parking, close to the highway.

Great space for a training gym.

ook ook,

MEAT
Subject: Re: Commercial space to let for my training gym
From: BRIT
Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2018 04:06:30 +0100
To: YANK

A lot of those are in Trafford Park, the world's original industrial estate created by building the ship canal which gave inland [Redacted] 35 miles of docks for sea vessels.

I'm happy to drive you around places to show you. Please make a shortlist.
Subject: Re: Commercial space to let for my training gym
From: YANK
Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2018 06:17:36 -0700
To: BRIT

Blackback,

Thank you! We can pack a picnic lunch and eat in a lovely lorry park.

ook ook.
Subject: I feel a little safer, stop-gap budget goal reached
From: YANK
Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2018 06:30:38 -0700
To: BRIT

Blackback,

Payday today! I deposited another $500 in my savings account and now I have enough to meet all September's expenses AND have enough savings to relocate to Albuquerque if something perilous happens like losing my job. Or I could replace my car if it explodes.

Not sure it's enough to relocate to [Redacted], I think pay from this week's work would put me there.

I need to check but I might also be eligible for unemployment benefits. Nevada uses a bizarre determination based on earnings the first 4 calendar quarters of the last 5 quarters.

Safety nets are good.

ook ook,

SILVERBACK
Subject: Re: Commercial space to let for my training gym
From: BRIT
Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2018 14:46:28 +0100
To: YANK

And with luck get gang raped by truckers.
Subject: Re: Commercial space to let for my training gym
From: YANK
Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2018 07:16:32 -0700
To: BRIT

I'd settle for a circle jerk so long as they aim for my face.

ook ook.
Subject: Two questions
From: YANK
Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2018 15:09:32 -0700
To: BRIT

Blackback,

Can gay men donate blood in the UK? The testosterone I take increased red cell count and I will need to occasionally donate blood to get rid of the excess.

Do you foresee your home renovations being completed by the end of August 2019? One possibility is that I renew my lease for 6 months. I can pay a fee to break it if necessary.

Hugs,

YOUR SILVERBACK (who we all know is GRUNTOR in a nurturing mood... with language skills... ook ook.)
Subject: My office closures
From: YANK
Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2018 16:52:59 -0700
To: BRIT

2018/12/24 Monday, day before Christmas
2018/12/25 Tuesday, Christmas
2018/12/31 Monday, day before New Year
2019/01/01 Tuesday, New Year

There's 11 weeks between my return from [Redacted] and the first of these closures so I can probably take off 2 or 3 additional days. They'd be without pay if I'm still a contractor, likely with pay if I get hired.

ook ook.
Subject: Vascular
From: YANK
Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2018 17:39:46 -0700
To: BRIT

https://vtt.tumblr.com/tumblr_pfbuqeDTFw1u09on0.mp4

from http://needsize.tumblr.com

ook ook.
Subject: Washroom attendant
From: YANK
Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2018 17:40:46 -0700
To: BRIT

https://vtt.tumblr.com/tumblr_pfbpbqBXoS1x5wesd.mp4

Another from http://needsize.tumblr.com

ook ook.
Subject: Re: Two questions
From: BRIT
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2018 09:18:05 +0100
To: YANK

You have to wait 3 months after sex with men to donate https://www.nhsbt.nhs.uk/media/news/blood-donation-rules-have-changed/

I think August is possible. But then I thought everything would take 3-4 months when I bought it in April last year ...
Subject: Re: Two questions
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2018 07:58:11 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Re: Blood - Well, at least I can donate at all, unlike the US. I can pay a medical clinic to draw a pint and dispose if it, but it's expensive (about $250) and the blood gets thrown away. Such a waste.

Re: Renovations - Looks like we'll just have to stay in touch on progress and consider how stressful it would be if I moved in at a less-than-complete stage. Or if my sending you money could accelerate progress a bit.

Remember to draft a budget and income/expense schedule. Do you have any spreadsheet applications or would you use Google Docs?

ook ook,

Yank
Subject: Re: Two questions
From: BRIT
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2018 16:06:37 +0100
To: YANK

I doubt you're going three days without sex let alone three months.
Subject: Re: Two questions
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2018 08:15:03 -0700
To: BRIT

When you visited in July you were the first man I had sex with in 2 months. 3 to 9 months is typical just because of where I live and how often I'm excluded because I don't fuck.

I miss my milking machine.

ook ook.
Subject: Re: Two questions
From: BRIT
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2018 16:33:14 +0100
To: YANK

I meant when here :D
Subject: Re: Two questions
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2018 08:45:43 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Living with you, 3 *hours* without sex would be excruciating. Gorilla gonna sex you up!

Rushing to get out the door, rushed through my prior reply. Sorry about that.

ook ook.
Subject: Tesla's Tower
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2018 09:07:39 -0700
To: BRIT

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/what-is-wardenclyffe-tower-nikola-tesla

Nikola Tesla Built a Giant Tower to Send Wireless Electricity Around the World - Ultimately, things didn't go as he had planned.
Subject: Asian students pull of diversity stunt at McDonald's
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2018 17:05:17 -0700
To: BRIT

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/nation-now/2018/09/20/mcdonalds-students-prank-fake- ad/1367848002/

When you don't see diversity, CREATE diversity. Well done.
Subject: 49 year old Tamil Nadu cop wins bodybuilding title
From: YANK
Date: Fri, 21 Sep 2018 14:09:54 -0700
To: BRIT

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chennai/after-10-year-hiatus-bodybuilder-cop-returns-as- mr-tamil-nadu/articleshow/65893803.cms

ook ook.
Subject: Prenuptial agreements in Nevada
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 23 Sep 2018 19:43:59 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Here are some good links on Nevada prenuptial agreements and the laws around them.

Nevada Bar Association (the oversight board that grants lawyers the right to practice law in the state) https://www.nvbar.org/lawyerreferral/lawyer-referral-information-service/family-law-and-divorc e/nevada-prenuptial-and-postnuptial-agreements/

[Redacted] Defense Group, a legal rights group in Nevada https://www.shouselaw.com/nevada/family/prenuptial-agreements-in-nevada

Law Depot, one of many, many online DIY sites for legal contracts https://www.lawdepot.com/contracts/prenuptial-agreement/?loc=US&pid=googleppc-prenup_us- AgreementT1_dza8-ggkey_prenuptial%20agreement%20nevada&gclid=EAIaIQobChMItYbV38 3S3QIVAsZkCh0PsQgkEAAYAyAAEgJkbPD_BwE#.W6hNzGhKjIU

ook ook,

Um, we've accumulated far too many affectionate names so I don't know which to choose
Subject: I want that gorilla!
From: YANK
Date: Mon, 24 Sep 2018 15:29:27 -0700
To: BRIT

http://www.justjared.com/2018/09/24/king-kong-broadway-musical-debuts-first-look-photo/

King Kong is heading to Broadway this Fall and a first look photo from the upcoming musical has been released... A 20-foot high, 2,000 pound gorilla is brought to life on stage by a team of seamlessly integrated artists and technicians. You can see photos of King Kong in the Australian production in the gallery.
Subject: Same-sex weddings at Little Chapel of the West
From: YANK
Date: Tue, 25 Sep 2018 15:17:56 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Don't know if I had seen this before, but the Little Chapel does indeed offer same-sex weddings.

https://littlechurchofthewest.com/gay-weddings-in-las-[Redacted]/

ook ook.
Subject: [Fwd: Randstad Professionals]
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2018 17:47:30 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

The universe has a sense of humor. Today I got a phone call and this email offering a direct-hire Healthcare Analyst opportunity from a recruiting firm I have worked for.

Except I'm already waiting for an offer my Director said is in progress.

D'oh!

ook ook,

Yank

"God is a comedian playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh." -- Voltaire

-------- Original Message -------- Subject: Randstad Professionals
Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2018 16:08:44 -0700
From: Ryan Curnel
To: scramcat@gmail.com

I appreciate your time!

Healthcare Data Analyst 50-75k Direct Hire Healthcare experience SQL SAS Degree in Statistics, Mathematics, Informatics, Computer Science

Thank you!

photo Ryan Curnel Executive Recruiter

Randstad Professionals Finance & Accounting | Human Resources | IT Office: 702.359.0227 Cell: 805.813.1390 a: 6720 Via Austi Parkway, #370 [Redacted], NV 89119 Stay in touch - LinkedIn w: www.randstadusa.com

This email message is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply email and destroy all copies of the original message.

This email message is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply email and destroy all copies of the original message.
Subject: This would be a good look for me
From: YANK
Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2018 17:51:14 -0700
To: BRIT

From http://muscleryb.tumblr.com/

ook ook.


Subject: I like this
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2018 06:29:48 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

I like Asian musclemen, posing trunks, and show-offs. So this is a good video clip.

https://ve.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_pfs06uXw9R1x5wesd.mp4

ook ook.
Subject: Re: I like this
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2018 14:36:02 +0100
To: YANK

I thought the destruction of a thong might upset you though.
Subject: This would be a good look for me
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2018 06:37:18 -0700
To: BRIT

MEAT

ook ook.


Subject: Re: I like this
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2018 06:39:34 -0700
To: BRIT

Trunks and thongs are fetish object to me so any way they're used to disseminate their power is good. A torn, sweaty thong is an excellent trophy.

ook ook.
Subject: Re: This would be a good look for me
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2018 14:43:49 +0100
To: YANK

Not enough cock bulge.
Subject: Re: This would be a good look for me
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2018 06:52:10 -0700
To: BRIT

That's because Boss forced my cock and balls into a way-too-small chastity cage to make sure I'd always be full of cum.

--MEAT
Subject: Re: This would be a good look for me
From: BRIT
Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2018 14:53:14 +0100
To: YANK

Oh you won't. You're getting milked. Just when I say, and only then.
Subject: Re: This would be a good look for me
From: YANK
Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2018 06:55:44 -0700
To: BRIT

MEAT has no objection to that rule. His duty is to serve and obey Boss.

--MEAT
Subject: Amazon UK has to get its shit together
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 30 Sep 2018 15:24:17 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Amazon.co.uk sent me this email asking me to review my first purchase. Except when I followed the link to post a review the page said I had not made enough purchases to earn the right to post reviews.

Da fuck?

This is a perfect example of why marketing people must NEVER be allowed near web sites nor email systems.

Unsibscribed form all marketing communications. Fuck 'em.

ook ook,

VITRIOLIC GORILLA

-------- Original Message -------- Subject: Yank, did 'Farm & Ranch Calf Milk Feeder Bottle with Nipple Sheep
Lamb Milk Bottle Holder Teat 2 Liter Milking Feeding Replacement Rearing Drinker by Livestocktool' meet your expectations? Review it on Amazon Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2018 10:45:51 +0000
From: Amazon.co.uk Reviews
To: YANK

Tell other shoppers what you thought of Farm & Ranch Calf Milk Feeder Bottle with Nipple Sheep Lamb Milk Bottle Holder Teat 2 Liter Milking Feeding Replacement Rearing Drinker by Livestocktool. Write a review. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Amazon.co.uk Your opinion matters! Yank, do you have a moment? We'd love to know how everything worked out with you. Please take a moment to review your most recent item(s).

Farm & Ranch Calf Milk Feeder Bottle with Nipple Sheep Lamb Milk Bottle Holder Teat 2 Liter Milking Feeding Replacement Rearing Drinker by Livestocktool Start by rating this item Your reviews will be posted on Amazon using your public name. Check your public name. Review your most recent purchases

PVL Mutant Mass 2200 g Vanilla Weight Gain Shake Powder Start by rating this item = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Consider rating other past items! See more = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Amazon.com

facebook twitter We hope you enjoyed receiving this message. However, if you'd rather not receive future e-mails of this sort from Amazon.co.uk please opt-out here.
Subject: Thank you for the hypnosis and penetration
From: YANK
Date: Sun, 30 Sep 2018 15:46:00 -0700
To: BRIT

Brit,

Thank you for our Skype session tonight. It transcended my expectations.

I was amazed to see how I was built without muscle dysmorphia distorting my perception. That was an unexpected gift and I thank you.

Also, thank you for showing me the kind of lover you are. Your technique, your reassurance, your nurturing me while still staying dominant were more satisfying than I could have hoped for. Thank you, Poppa.

You have helped us broaden our sex life. I can't wait to experience you inside me. And I never thought in my life I'd ever say that. Thank you.

ook ook,

Yank, GRUNTOR, MEAT, toothless cellar abductee, and whomever else branches from me in the fullness of time